just got this in the post, better check for spiders
this was published back in october and thought it was worth sharing as I was asked to be a contributor and had to answer some questions under a cheesy photo of myself, although sadly one of my answers was changed – when asked ‘if I saw wet cement, I would write’, my answer was in fact ‘spiders are your friends’ but it was replaced with ‘smile’. Perhaps the magazine didn’t want to take responsibility for the (very) few individuals who might have read my answers and taken this particular one seriously.
for example, apparently the Two Striped Telamonia Spider is a particularly nasty, venomous little brute which lurks beneath toilet seats and once it has bitten you on the arse causes fever, chills, vomiting, muscular collapse, paralysis and finally death. Charming. So whilst some spiders might be your friends, this particular one is probably not going to be, especially if, whilst visiting India, you need to go to the loo and end up sitting on it, or one of it’s friends.
this was of course an urban legend taken from an email sent frantically around North America, where it was said that many people had died from sitting on the toilet seat after not looking under it first, to check for poisonous spiders which might just have made the journey by plane from an exotic country to your dark, moist seat in Texas, let’s say . The phrase ‘only in America‘ comes to mind. Still, I’m sure there are many unfriendly spiders in India.
that aside, I am quite happy with my answers, although you probably can’t read them here, so I’ll just have to assure you that they are witty, considerate and charming
